I have a hard time figuring how much I should tell people about who I am and what I do and to whom I tell certain information. Sure I could tell people everything I’ve done in my free time, but are they really interested if they ask? Or is it really pertinent to whatever’s going on? My work with the homeless and those that need it is one thing I truly enjoy, but do people really want to hear about that? I wouldn’t know unless they asked about it (and how would they know to ask about it? Running in around and around here..), but this precarious position I’m in - this .. limbo, if you will - makes it hard to make/maintain relationships with other people. It’s nice to have this bloggity outlet, regardless of who reads it. I guess I shouldn’t really frame it as limbo. It implies that I’m staying behind instead of moving forward, which is more negative, and it could subconsciously make me feel worse. It’s the road less traveled - could be more dangerous, but it’s different, and I’m not cutting any corners by going any other way if the conventional way is cut off.
“You never get anywhere in life by cutting corners. If you keep cutting corners you’ll get a circle, and circles are fat.” I remember telling one of my friends that this is what I used to tell myself when working out/running. Now when I run it’s only the first part. It keeps me going and moving forward. If I don’t run as much, or push myself enough, I’ll never get to where I want to be. Despite all the hills and cracks and steps that I know are in front of me, the finish line will be there. But it will only be there when I go the distance; when I push myself to get there, no matter how long it takes. I will push past the failure and heartbreak. I will take that road less traveled. I am a non-conformist (as my high school teacher so vividly stated in one of my recommendation letters). Even when others tell me it’s a bad idea, who’s to say what’ll happen if it hasn’t been done before? I know what is within me. Even if you can’t see it yet.
I have something more important than courage.
I have patience.
I will become what I know I am.
Story of my life.
On failure. Turning it into something good.